Dreaming in the Matrix
Recently, I have been having really vivid (sometimes lucid dreams) as if a movie is playing, and I am both watching the movie and starring in it simultaneously. I can feel the emotion of all of it, yet I also am playing witness to it as I watch it all unfold. The messages have been intense, multifaceted, and deep.
When I wake sometimes, it’s like I feel as if I’m caught in the matrix,, not clear on what’s the actual dream versus what’s truly real. That feeling of being intertwined in both spaces has been what shows up in daylight hours, recently, as well. I don’t really know what’s the dream versus what’s real. It’s all sort of blended together, blurry … yet, also so clear.
I feel like I keep moving between 3rd dimension and 5th dimension energy. Sometimes it feels fast, explosive, and like I’m astral planing, bouncing back and forth between dimensions. Other times it feels slow, quiet, and more deliberate as if I am entangled in a hypnotic dance that has me swaying to and fro. A gentle beat, a harmony really, draws me in and I simply move.
Either way, I feel and sense myself watching all of it. I am able to observe it curiously, though completely unattached. I feel no judgement or even focused thought … just sense the observation of it. It has been interesting seeing the separation of the me who is “doing” the traveling and the me who is merely “witnessing” it. Yet, even in the separateness, there is a oneness. Though they seem to be different (or appear to be), they are also the same.
I have to admit that I am not sure I fully understand the fifth dimension. I recognize it goes beyond my 3D senses and comprehension, and I feel the space at times when I shift away from the third dimension. Though, I’m not sure I can language what the 5D plane truly is.
I feel my rational (engineering) brain trying to make sense of it, yet there are no words that come. When I simply allow myself to feel into it and notice when I shift, I just know. In 3D space, it makes absolutely no sense. In 5D, no explanation is necessary. I just know.
There is a call for full surrender that I feel opens up the channel to move between these two dimensions effortlessly. For when I am in flow, aligned to my highest self, it doesn’t feel distinct … it feels seamless, instead. It simply lies in my ability (and willingness) to trust and walk confidently in my truth, and in my faith. For then the dance just happens.
On another note, I also wonder why I feel like crying so much lately? Is it my stuff or something else? There are spaces in my body that feel heavy and dense, especially as I move between these planes. Other spaces feel like I am completely detached and not even in my body. I wonder if this is simply the witness watching, or perhaps, something else.
There are days where I feel exhausted or complacent. I yearn to feel that fire of desire again. A lot around the divine feminine keeps showing up, as well. I feel both deeply connected and disconnected at the same time. I wonder: What is trying to come through and express itself?
This period of reflection and restoration seems to have taken over my mind and body at times. And, I just feel profoundly tired and worn out in processing it all. I want to feel that sense of aliveness again, the overflowing excitement, energy, and joy that brings new breath into my body. I want to feel awake, passionate, and excited about life and my mission. I want to really feel the calling of my work coursing through my entire being and activating my cells.
That being said, I am deeply grateful for this space along my journey. For I know, and recognize, that I am transitioning … and, a quantum shift is happening. I know a deeper level of spiritual awakening and enlightenment are opening and expanding. I can feel how I am passing through another gate, another portal.
I am grateful for what wants to present, be seen, and be released. I am grateful for the next level and the new dimension of my work that inevitably will shine through when this passes. And, as I know at the deepest level … this too shall pass.