I had an entirely different way I thought I would start this post. That is until I heard the news that Matthew Perry passed away. Something about hearing that news has hit me hard. Maybe it’s because as someone who just turned 50 a few months ago, I find it staggering that he left this earth at 54.
Or, maybe it’s because I feel the significance of how dark and painful living with addiction and depression can really be, as I have seen it’s darkness up close and powerfully within my own family.
Whatever it is that has me reeling a bit after news of his unexpected death, I feel an even stronger urge to share my thoughts about the Living Legacy we each have the opportunity to share and leave as our mark in this world.
I think about what he said in terms of how he wants to be remembered. How he knows most will only remember him as Chandler on Friends. But, his legacy is much richer and deeper than that. Matthew Perry did a lot in the realm of addiction and mental health most don’t even realize. He was passionate about helping others who might be struggling the way he did.
His impact and mark are more profound than just the characters he played. He offered his light, his gifts, and his voices to things that mattered.
When I say Living Legacy, I am speaking beyond just what you leave when you die. It’s more than what you leave in your will and to your heirs.
Living Legacy is what you “leave” in every moment you exist. It’s every breath you take and the experience of YOU that remains afterwards.
It’s the legend of you, your imprint, your energy.
Your Living Legacy is the embodiment of the sentiment offered in the words Maya Angelou once so graciously shared:
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
This is what your Living Legacy represents. It’s the experience of you that you leave with people from every engagement and every interaction.
And, the thing most people don’t realize is this: You either intentionally do your Living Legacy OR your Living Legacy will do you.
Let that sink in for a moment.
The intentionality in how we choose to show up matters.
It’s the fundamental foundation for what I believe leadership to be. As leadership, real leadership, is ultimately a choice.
And, within that choice, leadership is a function of three things:
- How you choose to show up
- How you choose to serve others
- How you choose to take personal responsibility inside those two spaces
The point is, it’s YOUR choice. And, you have agency to decide.
The other thing about leadership is that it’s everyone of our opportunities. We each can lead from where we are at with what we have, if we choose. When we step into our unique gifts and lead from a space to serve, we all then have the power and opportunity to lead.
Leadership looks different for everyone. And, often it’s a team sport.
However, we live in quite the entitled culture these days. Too many “leaders” not taking accountability, actually shirking their responsibility.
There are far too many people, on a collective front, these days who don’t want to get involved, feel as if everything happening in the world is someone else’s issue, or are so self-absorbed in their own nonsense and judgements that the focus is only on them.
We spend precious energy playing the blame game. We cop out and take the easy road. We want to skate by, and do the least amount of (real) work possible. We project onto others and stay in our cozy victim mentality
And, mind you, when I say “work,” I am not talking about our need to be busy and stay in a constant state of frenic motion.
That busy “work” is not the work we are actually here to do. The work we are here to do as a function of our purpose and gifts is to powerfully shift consciousness and elevate the level of leadership.
We are here to inspire, impact, and influence meaningful change.
Yet, that’s not what we’re doing. No, we are casting stones. We are abusing power. We continue to think we are separate from one another. That somehow one of us is better than any of us. We have lost sight of what’s really important. And, we have forgotten who the f*ck we truly are.
We are lost. We are scared. We are playing an old victim tape and narrative over-and-over again, and we are not allowing love to guide us.
Overall, we are missing passion and conviction. We are missing kindness, compassion, and grace. We are missing a sense of connection and shared responsibility. We also have forgotten the power of forgiveness.
And, most importantly we are missing opportunities to use our gifts to change the world. We are not leading from love, with love. Instead, we think someone else needs to step up first.
But, my question is this: Who’s going to be first if everyone is waiting for someone else to lead?
This why your Living Legacy is EVERYTHING!
For each of us have a part to play. We are each a unique cosmic event, and part of the overall Universal Plan. We are here with purpose, as purpose.
It’s not about just coasting through life. Or, clawing and fighting our way up some arbitrary ladder at the expense of others. We are not here to one-up each other, or continue to feed a story around classes and levels. And, sure as hell is not a game about “keeping up with the Joneses (or Kardashians)?
We are here to connect. We are here to serve.
We can only do this when we intentionally come from a place of love. When we do the work required to live our own Soul Curriculum. To know that through our individual and collective healing, we bring ourselves back to the truth and integrity of who we are.
We are not meant to survive, but to thrive.
And, the real power lies in the opportunity to know that abundance creates more abundance. That what we choose (consciously or unconsciously) to put out energetically HAS to come back to us. And, no … it’s not some “woo woo” bullshit, it’s physics.
It’s the fundamental point of life.
I always find it interesting when people say, “What’s the meaning of life?”
I actually think this is an extremely simple question, as the meaning of life is to be the Purpose you are here to be. To be YOU in all your fullness and to express the truth and authenticity of who you are in that being-ness.
The meaning of life is to accept that you are a piece of the Cosmic puzzle.
You are here to offer your gifts in service.
That’s it.
The reason is feels so difficult to “figure” this out is because most people are unwilling to do the meaningful work to heal and offer their gifts, and don’t want to take personal responsibility when they do. It takes courage and bravery to stand in your truth, and to give life to your voice.
For it’s only when we choose and commit to awaken, activate, amplify, and align with our authentic Self of who we BE that we can lead from love, with love, from our highest and best level.
Right now, we need leaders more than ever.
Leaders willing to speak up. Leaders willing to take risks. Leaders willing to disrupt the narrative. Leaders willing to create change.
Leaders, like you and me.
And, while we cannot control how people choose to view us or our work, we can go to bed each night knowing we gave the best of ourselves. Knowing that we were intentional about how we chose to show up, serve, and take personal responsibility.
In doing so, we would better be able hold ourselves, and each other, more accountable. We would build bridge and circles of connection, versus more “tables”, barriers, walls, and weapons.
We would lean in and begin to really see each other with our hearts.
We would listen, really listen, to each other and share our stories … the good, bad, and ugly. We would share the pain, triumphs, joy, and truth.
We would begin to remember who we are once again, and that we are not separate, but actually the same. That we all came from one Source. That we are here to activate, not trigger, each other and bring our gifts to life.
And, we would each be intentionally leading our Living Legacy.
So, my question for you is this: What is your Living Legacy? What is the mark you want to leave on the world, and everyday?