Do you realize that the biggest fear, aside from death and public speaking (yes, that actually ranks higher than death for many people … I’ll come back to that in another blog post) is being judged (and being criticized)?
Well, I have news for you … you’re always being judged.
It doesn’t matter.
Yep, that’s right, it doesn’t matter. And, the kicker … it’s not actually about you..
The problem, however, is that we think it’s about us, we internalize it, and we allow someone else opinion to determine our own sense of worth. We allow it to create and build fear within us. And, this fear debilitates us. It shuts us down before we even get started.
It paralyzes us, and keeps us playing small.
When, the reality is you ARE being judged, all the time. And, that judgment is very rarely ever ultimately about you.
Judgment is a factor of the human condition. We all do it, myself included. It’s a function of nature, our programming, our conditioning, our culture, along with our insecurity and illusion of separation. It’s a function of the darkness that feeds the matrix.
It’s not real. It’s subjective. It’s very, very, very subjective … and, comes from lower frequencies and from a lower vibration.
It’s a filter based on perception … and, a skewed perception at that. It stems from the reality we’ve created for ourselves: how we think about ourselves, what we’ve been conditioned to believe, and how we perceive our own sense of worth and value.
For its a mirror, a reflection of ourselves.
And, consider that those who criticize you within that judgment are very rarely those in front of you. It’s not those who are lit up and living their lives in purpose you are listening to. For those who are moving forward, truly leading their living legacy, and shifting into a higher consciousness are far more concerned about their calling, their purpose, and their impact than they are about you and what you’re doing or not doing.
If we could only put into perspective the truth of how judgment plays out. We all judge the moment we see something, hear something, taste something, or touch something. It’s a function of our senses: we assess, we identify, we judge.
We make a judgment, or create a filtered perception about that thing, person, or situation.
Yet, that judgment is all about us, the person who perceives that thing. It’s about you, and it’s about me.
It’s about whether we are feeling love or fear in that moment. As a Course in Miracles tell us, there are only two states: love or fear. Our judgements are a derivative of one or the other.
When our judgements comes from fear, we create a distortion of the truth. We choose to separate ourselves from the whole, the oneness of who we are.
We, instead, choose to project our insecurity, our pain, our fear, and our suffering onto to someone else. All because we got triggered.
We get triggered by our own darkness, our own areas that need to be healed. We fear facing our truths, so inside we push it down or project it onto others hoping we can stuff or ignore what is presenting and so uncomfortable. We project rather than facing our demons. We project rather than owning our own shit.
We project rather than taking personal responsibility for our thoughts, beliefs, words, and actions.
So, we judge, we criticize, and often we belittle and condemn. When the only thing we need to do is witness our own truth. To be willing to sit with and feel that which is uncomfortable.
Our job, our opportunity, is to sit with the fullness of all of it. To give ourselves space to observe it without the need for further judgment. Not an easy task, I assure you.
Because we are so conditioned to stuff it down and to project it out. We lose the ability to simply get curious with it and let it show us what needs to be healed.
From there, we simply need to move it to the light.
That’s all the darkness is trying to provide us … and, opportunity to lean in, to observe, and to move that thing that triggers us into the light. For it’s in the light that we can transmute and heal.
We judge because we don’t know how to truly love all of ourselves, all of who we are (and, all of who we aren’t … or, think we aren’t). We struggle and question our own worth, and value.
If only we could, and would, remember that we are enough … just because. We are so enough. That we are not more or less, we just are. And, that we are not separate.
Our lives are not meant to be a competition, but rather this life we get is here for us to experience. It’s an opportunity to experience our own evolution and the infinite possibilities available to us. There is enough for all, and we are all one.
And, each and everyone one us is enough … just because.
So, here’s the thing: if everyone is judging you, and it’s not really about you anyway, then why get yourself twisted into a pretzel trying to be something you’re not. Why hold yourself back?
I figure if you’re going to judge me anyway, then at least judge me on ME. At least I can follow my bliss, let my weirdo flag shine, and do me. Trust me, it’s a hell of lot less work that way, that’s for sure.
Besides, I have bigger things to do than worry about how someone may or may not perceive me, and so do you. As the late, great Betty White used to say, “someone’s opinion of you is none of your damn business.”
Amen, Betty, amen.