What exactly is a promise?
A promise is a declaration of a specific intention. It’s a commitment or vow to deliver something based on a set expectation. It’s a contract.
Even if that contract, or agreement, is with yourself.
Yet, as we are constantly in motion, and find ourselves in the hustle and bustle of things, we often end up overextending ourselves in the promises and commitments we make.
Whether it’s meeting a deadline at work, attending various social events, or helping a friend in need, it’s often second nature, or almost a default, when we find ourselves making, yet, another commitment.
Think about it: How many times have you made a commitment to only regret it afterwards?
We are so busy people pleasing, and playing in the culture of nice, that we forget to check in an ask: “Do I even want to do this? Do I have the energy for it? Do I really want to promise I will do x, y or z?”
Because, so many times making these promises and honoring all of the commitments we make to everyone start to stack up. And, often times, they leaves us depleted and tapped out, as a result.
We keep pouring from an empty cup. We keep saying “yes” to everyone, when we actually should be saying “no” … and, learning how to say “yes” to ourselves instead.
You miss the opportunity of putting yourself first, of putting on your own oxygen mask, and in filling up your cups so they overflow.
It’s from the overflow that we can truly serve others.
And, what’s worse, is when you do make promises to yourself, you rarely keep those promises. Something else or somebody else always wins over.
We live in this perpetual cycle and culture of people-pleasing and being nice, where we think we need to be all things for everyone, at any cost.
Yet, when is it your time?
When is it time for you to choose you first?
It’s starts by setting an intention and making a promise to yourself about what is meaningful and important to you.
Then, it’s about making a commitment to follow through.
Honoring commitments to yourself is not merely a nice thought, it’s essential for your personal growth, self-esteem, and overall well-being.
There are several reasons why honoring commitments to yourself is of the utmost importance, and should be your number one priority.
Reason #1: Self-Respect and Self-Esteem
Honoring commitments to yourself is a reflection of your own sense of self-worth. When you keep promises you make to yourself, you are reinforcing that you recognize your own value.
When you make a promise to yourself and follow through with it, you build a sense of trust within yourself. This trust can boost your self-esteem and self- confidence, as you prove to yourself that you are reliable and capable.
It’s a powerful affirmation, and the highest form of self-love.
Reason #2: Practice Makes Permanent
Consistency is a key ingredient for success in all aspects of life. When you honor commitments to yourself, you establish a pattern of consistency.
Meaning, then you are able to better keep commitments you make to others, too. And, you start discerning which promise to make.
Whether it’s sticking to a fitness routine, pursuing a personal project, or learning a new skill, consistency is the driving force behind progress.
By keeping your promises and commitments to yourself, you activate your muscle for sustainability. You create momentum that shows you can focus on the long-game, and not succumb to short-term gratification.
Reason #3: Better Focus Management
Honoring commitments to yourself also helps you develop essential life skills, such as discipline and focus management.
When you prioritize your personal commitments, you become more adept at managing your focus (and time) effectively.
This skill can have a positive ripple effect in other areas of your life, too, making you more efficient and productive in both your professional and personal endeavors.
Reason #4: Creates a Deeper Sense of Peace
When you don’t fulfill a promise you made to yourself, it can lead to immense stress and anxiety, not to mention shaming and self-deprecation.
When you repeatedly break promises to yourself, you end up creating an ongoing sense of inner turmoil and self-doubt.
On the contrary, by keeping your promises to yourself, you are able to reduce mental anguish and the turmoil of facing unmet expectations.
In doing so, you then cultivate a greater sense of calm and inner peace.
Reason #5: Align With Your Core Values
By honoring the promises you make to yourself, you also reinforce your core values and sense of priorities.
It allows you to align your actions with your beliefs and goals, and truly walk your talk. When you consistently do what you say you will, you are living in accordance with who you say you are.
It’s what I call being aligned AF.
As a result, it provides you with a deeper sense of fulfillment, meaning and purpose in your life.
An extra bonus in keeping your commitments to yourself is that, in doing so, you also improve your overall well-being, as many personal promises are related to self-care, restoration, renewal, health, and wellness.
Whether it’s committing to regular exercise, a healthy diet, meditation, time in nature, or stress management techniques, honoring your commitments leads to improved physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and energetic health and wellness.
And, isn’t that the best reason of all?
When your cups are full and overflowing, and your wellness is at its peak, you then are able to show up and serve at your highest and best capacity.
Not to mention, you feel more vibrant, alive, energized, engaged, and present in your life, as well.
And, more joy!
And, let me offer this: Honoring commitments to yourself is not a selfish endeavor. In fact, it’s actually selfish when you don’t. It’s an act of self-love, self-care and personal growth.
By keeping the promises you make to yourself, you are able express the fullness of who you are, and offer your best gifts to the world.
For, it’s only when we honor the things we say are important to us, that we can model what’s possible for others around us.
One of the personal commitments I set for to myself, recently, is that I would honor my writing again. So, I made myself a promise that I would write a blog post every day for 90 days. That’s 90 posts.
I am on Day #22 today. I haven’t missed a day. Even as I write this later in the evening than I normally would, and while watching the ballgame.
I made a promise to myself, and I am committed to keeping it. No matter what. I know the value of my promise, and I choose to honor that.
And, it feels good because I am writing for me. This is my time to tune into what is calling through me, and what wants to be expressed.
I am honoring this space for myself.
Because when you honor the commitments you make to yourself first, you create a sacred bond with yourself. You build your self-esteem, develop greater discipline, reduce stress, and create a more fulfilling life.
It’s a practice that can have far-reaching effects on your overall well-being and be the catalyst for how you choose to show up in the world.
So, remember, the next time you make a promise to yourself, treat that commitment with the respect and honor it deserves.
Honor it with the realization that YOU are your top priority, and give it the same dedication (or more) you would to commitments you make to others.
You are worth keeping that promise to yourself.