I Never Knew I Could Go Both Ways ...
It’s interesting ... I grew up being told and believing that I was an extreme extrovert. In fact, every profile tool said the same. I carried this label, this programming, with me my entire life and allowed it to define me, my actions, my truths, and my way of being in the world.
As a result, I couldn’t understand how I would often vacillate between extremes bouts of energy and exhaustion. There would be times where my energy was primed and stoked by being around other people, and then there were times where I would feel utterly depleted and drained.
I blamed my diet, my job, my exercise regimen, my social life, and any other reason why I would experience these shifts. Now, at times, it was true ... those other reasons were affecting my energy shifts, my mood swings, my extreme ups-and-downs ... And, then, I also learn to realize that there was far more to the story.
As I’ve taken this journey, since leaving my corporate days behind (now, almost 7 years ago), I find that this label has cost me greatly.
You see, as I evolve and continue to expand in my own awakening, I realize that I am as much, if not more, an introvert to my core than a true extrovert. The more I energize with people, the more downtime I require afterwards.
This past year has been eye-opening for me. For there have been times when I had to hibernate, not from a desire to be still ... but, from a need, a necessity, to do so for my own spiritual, emotional, mental, physical and energetic health.
I have needed to say no to commitments I made, to reschedule outings with friends, where instead I had to honor my need to recharge, to unplug and go silent.
As a coach, trainer and speaker, this surprises people from time-to-time. If felt as if I bailed many times last year ... when, in fact, I was merely struggling as I was navigating a deeper, unchartered course that seemed to open wide up in the wake of events last year.
So, I apologize to those who may have perceived me as flaky, or as distant, or as someone who didn’t honor her commitments fully. Trust me when I say, my judgement of myself was much worse than what you might have bestowed upon me.
As I walk into this new year, this new decade, I am making a commitment and promise to myself to explore the depths of this newfound space and to honor what I need as the journey unfolds. As a multi-facet empath, introvert, extrovert and anything else I might classify myself as ... I ask for patience and grace as I may say no to Even more things than ever before.
My word and theme for this is to practice MINDFUL INTENTION. To listen to my intuition and lean into what I need most spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically and energetically.
I am releasing these labels, the judgements, and my own inner critic ... and, I purposefully choose to replace them with greater kindness, compassion, forgiveness, love and grace for myself.
In doing this, I am able to be more, do more, give more and love more. The realization is not only for me, but also for all I am blessed to serve. ❤️
2020 is my year to #sayyestomyself and #destroythenoise. It’s a #newyearevolvingme
Sending you light and love,
Candy