Menopause: Let’s Unpack the Shit Show That She Is

Okay, look I get it … menopause is not really the subject you are excited to tune into today.

But, once again, hear me out.

First of all, if you are woman over the age of 40, this is going to happen! And, you will thank me later where I share the inside look to help you prepare.

If you are already in the throes of menopause (like me), then I assure you that you are not alone, and we can navigate this tumultuous journey together.

If you are past menopause, I know you can relate … and, maybe, just maybe, you can finally feel seen in your own journey.

And, lastly, if you are a man, and there is any woman in your life you wish to understand more, support more, and lift up more … then stay put as you will want to know this.

The mighty, and often misunderstood, “M” word … that is, menopause, affects us all.

Yes, you read that right. It truly affects us all (men, included).

And, for some of us, menopause is a real game-changer … and, very rarely a welcomed one at that. For some of you lucky souls. you may find you just ease through menopause unscathed.

Wow, do I envy you!!

For the rest of us, menopause is a real shit show.

A full-blown, unfiltered, unpredictable, undeniable, unprecedented shit show.

For me, at least, menopause showed up at the most inopportune time, in a way that completely threw me off my game … and, I was full-on in the midst of one of my most prolific and powerful “A-Game” seasons.

And, little Miss Menopause had no qualms about knocking me off my horse.

But, before I get to that …

I actually started having symptoms back when I was around 38 years … I am now about to turn 50, just as a reference point. And, the symptoms started showing up once I got off birth control, which I had been on for 20+ years.

As a result, I was working with both a naturopath and my regular doctor. When the symptoms of perimenopause kicked in just shortly after getting off birth control, they both went into massive reactive mode.

Reactive being that they both started prescribing me stuff, whether it was a full detox kit, supplements, progesterone treatments, or thyroid medicine. With every symptom came with a new recommendation. I listened … and, I paid a hefty price.

Not only did I shell out some major cash, I also put my body into a massive tailspin.

Enter Round #1 of my menopause shit show.

My body began to shut down. And, my hormones were all over the place. It started to affect my ability to workout, to train … as at the time I was engaged in some pretty hardcore bootcamps and in the process of doing a figure-competitor’s nutrition and training regimen.

Needless to say, my body continued to go into fight mode. Inflammation built up in my body at astonishing speeds, and I eventually had to have surgery to my left Achilles, as a result of the damage it caused.

Once I found out I had to have another surgery (I had had three knee surgeries prior), the wheels fell off. I got super depressed and checked out. I could no longer workout, my body was out of control, and I truly thought I was going crazy.

And, the pressure of my corporate job at the time was not helping things … at all.

So, I spun further and further down a black hole, taking everyone with me in the process. I became closed off, defensive, overly emotional (and, well beyond my usual “emotional nature”), moody, and not much fun to be around.

I was miserable. And, so was my body.

After hitting rock bottom, I clawed my way back. Something shifted in me.

I started to take my power back.

I began to educate myself, to take ownership of what was happening, and to take the helm back to redirect the sinking ship … the sinking ship of me.

I fired both my doctor and my naturopath. I began to tune into my body. I stopped taking all the supplements and the prescriptions.

I simply chose to be done.

A year and a half later, my body finally started feeling “right” again. I started to feel healthy. Like my hormones and nervous system were getting back on track. Like I was “whole” again.

And, my perimenopausal symptoms all stopped.

That is, until a few years ago.

Fast-forward to about the age of 45 when my symptoms came roaring back.

As I mentioned in a previous blog post (Let’s Talk About the “M” Word), my understanding of menopause was quite naive.

Enter Round #2 of my menopause shit show.

That round was interesting. Perimenopause. I sort of found myself moving in and out of symptoms during this phase.

It was another process of discovery and re-discovery.

Until …

Enter Round #3 of my menopause shit show.

This past year has come with a full left hook that blindsided me, as I find myself fully in the grips of menopause. And, let me tell you … it has nearly knocked me out a few times.

To think I thought menopause was something that was just a minor inconvenience … and, something that lasted for about 6 weeks.

Straight up truth.

I honestly thought menopause was just this “thing” women went through that was a bit irritating and a mild inconvenience, and something you just “bounced” back from.

Man, was I wrong.

Menopause is a full-blown experience, a journey, and one that can last up to 10 years or more, even as long as 20 years for some women.

Seriously, wrap your brain around that for just a moment.

Women go through a massive “change of life” that can last 10-20 years; we are talking about nearly 25% of their life. What?!?

Ugh, I mean … seriously!

And, yet we know “nothing” about it until it happens to us.

We get shamed because of it. We get ridiculed and chastised for it. We get told to “suck it up” and stop being so “dramatic” about it.

I know … I bought into that narrative once upon a time, too

Our culture and workplaces are void of compassion around women’s health and the symptoms they experience when it comes to the mighty “m” word. We get told we are overreacting, too emotional, too flighty, among a host of other things.

When in reality, these are the very effects of what happens to a woman when in the full swing of menopause. Her symptoms might look like (just to name a few):

The reality is any and all of these symptoms, and more, can completely take you out. They have me a few times. I can be in full creative flow when brain fogs kicks in and makes me lose focus of what I was writing or doing.

Or, at the most random moment a hot flash can take over, leaving me with only the option to stop what I am doing (turn on my desk fan) and ride the moment out, waiting for it to pass, as I truly can’t do anything when they hit.

My point is this: we need to better understand the effects of menopause. We need to stop judging it and shaming those going through it.

Because ALL women will go through some form of menopause within their lifetime.

It is unavoidable. While some are blessed to be only mildly affected, there are those of us who get fully knocked out and have to learn how to navigate it.

• Brain fog • Irritability
• Emotional mood swings
• Fatigue 
• Restlessness
• Hot flashes
• Night sweats
• Weight gain
• Inflammation
• Hormonal imbalances

The reality is any and all of these symptoms, and more, can completely take you out. They have me a few times. I can be in full creative flow when brain fogs kicks in and makes me lose focus of what I was writing or doing.

Or, at the most random moment a hot flash can take over, leaving me with only the option to stop what I am doing (turn on my desk fan) and ride the moment out, waiting for it to pass, as I truly can’t do anything when they hit.

My point is this: we need to better understand the effects of menopause. We need to stop judging it and shaming those going through it.

Because ALL women will go through some form of menopause within their lifetime.

It is unavoidable. While some are blessed to be only mildly affected, there are those of us who get fully knocked out and have to learn how to navigate it.

In my upcoming Part 3 of this series, I will be sharing some of my hacks for what I’ve learned in navigating and managing this journey … and, what I still am experimenting with and learning along the way.

Even as I write this, I literally have had to turn on my desk fan and pause multiple times while, repeated hot flashes have kicked in. If you’ve never experienced a hot flash … count yourself lucky. It feels like your skin is melting all while an inferno is taking over inside your body.

Fun times! Yep, welcome to the shit show! Lol!

Stay tuned … as I promise there’s so much more to this journey.

With deep respect and reverence,

Candy