We Don't Need to Walk a Mile in Someone's Shoes; We Need to Learn How to Walk Besides Them

There’s an expression that’s been touted for as long as I can remember. People always say that you need to “walk a mile in someone’s shoes.” 

We have it all wrong. 

For we don’t need to walk in someone’s shoes to be empathic, to practice kindness, and to demonstrate compassion. 

We don’t actually need to experience someone’s exact circumstances or trudge through their struggles to relate to them with grace.

Transformational leadership isn’t about wearing someone else’s shoes. 

It’s about something entirely different. It’s about the walk, itself.

All we really need to do is “walk beside” them.

Now, sometimes “walking beside them” is more figurative than literal in nature. Perhaps there’s distance between us and we are not able to physically be in the same location. 

That doesn’t mean we are unable to be in the energy of walking along side of someone, supporting and seeing them. 

When we walk with someone, we create a presence. 

We don’t have to have lived their life or gone through their pain to be present, to listen with an open heart, and to create a space for someone to feel truly seen, heard, valued, and loved. 

We don’t have to have experienced what someone is going through, or walk in their actual shoes, to show up for them. 

Because, in all honesty, we don’t need to fix the situation or them. We don’t need to do anything. We just need to BE.

We need, or get, to be in our humanity. 

The being-ness in which you can create real presence is more valuable than you can imagine. We all need safe spaces, to lean, to cry, to talk, to feel held, and sometimes just to breathe. 

It only requires our time, our attention, our focus, and our heart. 

Empathy, kindness, compassion, and grace …

This is the path that transformational leaders must walk.

It’s not about walking a mile in someone’s shoes, it’s about walking beside them energetically and listening with an open heart.

We don’t need to go through the experience to be able to relate to loss, heartache, grief, despair … or even, satisfaction, fulfillment, peace, and joy. We don’t need to walk in their shoes, we need to walk with them.

Again, it’s all about the walk. 

It’s about extending grace, removing judgment, and walking alongside others through both their struggles and successes.

Because at the end of the day, we all face hard times. 

We all experience setbacks, heartache and periods of despair. 

We all experience the humanness of life. 

And we all need people in our corner. People we can reply on, not judgement, or preachy phrases, or toxic positivity. Just people who simply Choose to be with us with open ears and open hearts.

The next time you’re tempted to say “walk a mile in their shoes”, I urge you to think about how to walk with them instead.

For in this walk, we offer the ultimate demonstration of love.